Chainsaw Buffet / Gamers' Grotto / Sakura Tees Forums

Can we get more of these please?

I wanna know how the iPhone works. (I assume it's powered by the user's douchebaggery.)

I will try, but this article was forged in a perfect storm of not one but two cases of willful ignorance of SCIENCE!, stupid trivia, very loose stream-of-consciousness connections, and subjecting myself to 6 CDs worth of John Hodgman*. I am not sure I can reproduce it on command.

I mean, sure, the true mark of success and maturity is to have the self-discipline to hone your art even when you don't feel inspired, but that's work and FRAK THAT NOISE.







* Admission: I kinda want to learn how to play "Big Rock Candy Mountain" so that I can play it repeatedly while reciting 700 hobo names. I HAVE A PROBLEM.

Request from Chad: "Dear Mr Science: Why does Bacon Salt taste like bacon, and yet it's vegan and kosher? I suspect black magic is involved."

This one may be hard to do. It's easy to make jokes about bacon salt, but I'm not sure I could connect it to anything I could riff on.

(Putting it here so I don't forget.)

Discuss how Bacon Salt contains pig souls and yet is both vegan and kosher. Explain how pig souls are actually the only kosher part of the animal.

Mr. Science articles work when you give a writer a starting point and let them make whatever ludicrous connections their stream of consciousness produces.

Mr. Science articles do not work when you give a writer a set of talking points and a conclusion.

That is how you get crap writing.

I'm just giving you a ludicrous idea to explain in any way you see fit. "Pig souls" is the best answer because it's the funniest.

That remains to be seen.

You cannot predict the outcome of a Mr. Science article. You can only wait for it to be set it in motion.

yea you recharge it by popping your collar